Know your limits!!

Yes I find this mildly offensive, but also completely hilarious. Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

I've been feeling pretty cocky lately, what with my ability to build shelves, can apricots, manage a daycare, etc, etc. Yeah, I am pretty awesome. But last night brought up yet again the one thing I fail miserably at time and time again.

I can't make popcorn to save my life.

Flashback 5 1/2 years ago or so. I was engaged to Jay, we were at his parents house, late one night. We decided some microwave popcorn would be nice. So I went up, put a bag in the microwave, hit a button or two, and waited.

A couple minutes later, black smoke is pouring out of the microwave, the smoke alarms are going off, and Jay's parents, who were asleep, are now awake, wondering if their house is burning down.

I don't think there were literally flames coming off the bag, but it was definitely on fire, and to this day there is a fairly large scorch mark in my mother-in-laws microwave.

I haven't done much with popcorn since. . . until last night. Jay convinced me to make some popcorn in the popcorn maker. Ok, so maybe if I can't do the microwaved bit, I can at least manage a popcorn machine right? WRONG. I guess it's been awhile since I used one of those.

I liberally dumped a cup of kernels in, turned on the popper, and waited for results. The results were blackened kernels, and the smell of scorched corn. Apparently one has to turn on the popper, let it heat up first, and then add kernels. Oh.

I am done with making popcorn. I know my limits.

Happy Birthday To Me!

After painstakingly planning out my dinner and dessert extravaganza for my birthday on Sunday, we decided to do what we do best in the LeVitre household- ditch all former plans and responsibilities and go road-tripping!!

Sunday was much to beautiful to spend inside cooking. We decided the coast of Oregon had seen too much of us lately, and eastern Oregon had places yet to be explored. I do love my rain foresty fifty shades of green forests, but sometimes I really miss the high desert. Fortunately, said desert is only a two hour drive away. Cross the Cascade Mountains, and voila! land of the rain shadow.

We went to Bend, Oregon- a place we have only driven through briefly in blizzards, and set up camp in at 2 am (we were pretty sure it was National forest. . . pretty sure. . . ). It turns out Bend is quite an attractive little town.

After a gorgeous drive up and over the mountains, we had a lovely lunch at Amalia's- a brand new Mexican restaurant with some very unusual twists on typical Mexican fare. I don't think I'll ever be satisfied with another salsa verde again. I must must must figure out their recipe!!!!! (Which of course meant consuming two bowls of the stuff with chips).


We made a brief stopover in a local used cd store, which James was very patient about, and then onto the main attraction The State's Largest Volcano Tube, also known as the Lava River Cave. It's about a mile long, 50 feet under ground, and very very dark.

It was a little difficult to find, we first went to a closed visitor center, then found a private lake, then finally after a highway detour, we found it! And it was closed! But we hadn't driven 130 miles to be stopped by a stupid sign. Seeing as how there wasn't a locked gate, barrier, or armed guards preventing us, we went exploring anyway armed with naught but our jackets, flashlights, and keen sense of adventure!

(Sorry, can't figure out how to flip these pics)

The Descent

James and his very own water bottle

The funnest thing about exploring with a small child is everything is so real. James was absolutely CONVINCED that this was the cave of Droofus the Dragon. Except he was at work, so no one was at home. He initially balked at entering a huge dark cavern, but once we got going he was fine. He actually walked the whole way in and back.

We finished off the day with a splurge at Trader Joe's and some birthday cake donuts. (I made James sing Happy Birthday to me before I would let him have one.)

Fun times had by all!

A Tirade to Myself

Will somebody please help me understand this insatiable desire I have to pointlessly kill time? Here I sit, playing stupid computer games when I could be doing something infinitely more wholesome. Aside from the obvious- dishes, dinner, etc, I could also be knitting, or reading a book, or stuck with my commitment to blog more (oh, wait, never mind). But instead I choose to dash through stars with my silly little robot unicorn in a vain attempt to beat my old score.

In my defense, I do work. I am the director of a loud, noisy, and sometimes completely insane daycare. I dash around putting out fires, feeding babies, and sometimes even manage to sit and breathe. (And yes, I do love my job) I am more than a little brain damaged by the time I get home every evening. I think this excuses my lack of desire to do dishes.

But why, when I have some perfectly good books, a cute tank top on the knitting needles, and lovely weather outside, why do I consistently find myself staring at a computer screen? And the funny thing is, I am bored, and I know I am bored. And yet, I continue to bore myself.

Maybe I like being bored. Maybe I am over-stimulated through out the day, and being bored feels good. At any rate, I have come to the conclusion this week that this has to stop. I have a few summer goals I would like to accomplish:

1. Blog more. I've been finding more blogs of people and things that interest me, and btw- blogs of PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY BLOG once a week, not once a year.

2. Knit more. My desire to be creative is waking up again- this means more writing, more knitting, and more making of artistic messes that won't get picked up for weeks.

3. The perennial favorite- get more exercise, eat healthier, blah blah blah. No really. This time I mean it.

4. GET OFF THE DAMNED COMPUTER!!

I am turning into such a computer junkie. But there is hope for me! I have made it a point several times to just check my email, then turn off the computer. This way I won't be tempted to
a. sit down to check email,
b. then play computer games,
c. watch more Buffy, while
d. mindlessly surfing the internet- which gets us to
e. realize I've done nothing productive for 3 hours.

I would like to continue to castigate my inner laziness, but I think it's time to turn off my computer and get something done.

This will be my 100th post! (trumpet fare in background) I've put off posting because I figured if it is going to be the 100th one, I'd better have something important to say. And what could be more important than the choosing of my birthday dinner? Next Sunday I turn 29- and yes I am currently accepting monetary donations, chocolate, and gift cards for pedicures.

My birthday is usually an excuse for me to celebrate summer by cooking something scrumptious. BBQed kabobs or fish is popular, as well as strawberries by the ton. I spend a lot of time thinking about this. For Memorial Day weekend I tried my hand at some strawberry cupcakes with strawberry meringue frosting, thinking perhaps that it would be a test run for possible birthday dessert feasting. It would appear that I am not so good at meringuing anything. And also, I don't like meringue- not that that mattered, because it was all totally gloppy and weird tasting anyway. Oh Martha Stewart, how you have disappointed me.

Ok scratch meringue frosting. But today was the most exciting day of all because I bought an ICE CREAM MAKER!!!!!! EEEEEEE, I am squealing like a little girl just thinking about it. Ice cream, sorbet, frozen yogurt- it's all within my grasp! Tomorrow we are making ice cream with strawberries stolen from our landlord's yard. (Stolen strawberries being the tastiest). But I am already thinking ahead to flavors like mango-ginger, lemon-basil, cucumber- mint, and other hyphenated flavors that probably only belong in lotions and soaps. Don't tell Jay.

So now that I have an ice cream maker I could . . . make cornmeal blackberry cupcakes with vanilla ice cream scoops on top. Or a fresh ice cream cake roll. Cheesecake with ice cream on the side. Mango sorbet on top of ginger cupcakes. Oh the possibilities.

Definitely using an out-of-this world citrus marinade for beef and veggie kabobs. 100% chance of margaritas. Mmmmmm, how I love food.

Craigslist Classics

After recently scanning Craigslist for possible jobs, apartments, and anything that might catch my eye, I have found some interesting things. Here are my top findings over the last few years that just make me roll my eyes at the gullibility of humanity.

1. This week in jobs- "I need a cosigner so I can buy a car. If you have good credit and make over 100K a year, please contact me"

2. An apartment ad I replied to "I have to go to West Africa to attend to my oil fields, but if you send me a deposit, and your personal information, I will send you the keys to the house"

3. When we were selling our truck a few years ago "I will trade you a computer printer, several beanie babies, a Disney collection. . . (the list went on but I forget what else) for your truck"

4. Yesterday in jobs- "We will pay 50 dollars for every 10 license plates you record and give to us for a database" Is that legal? The man to contact was Dad Turner. Weird.

5. Tried to sell a nondigital camera a few years go- we got a 5 am phone call "I can wire you 500 dollars for your camera." Uh huh. Our fifty dollar camera. All we need to do is give you our bank account number.

I am not knocking Craigslist. I love it- my past jobs, apartments, and cars have all come from there. But besides getting information out, its always good for a laugh.

Wrong Number

This morning around 8 am my phone rang. No one calls me that early unless its urgent, or a wrong number. I checked and it was a random Utah number I had never heard of. So I ignored it and went back to sleep.

Sure enough, they left me yet another random voicemail for someone I had never heard of. This time, I got a detailed visiting teaching report. Everyone gets wrong numbers at some point or another. I have a long history of receiving the same person's wrong numbers again and again and again.

Her name is Emily. I don't know her, nor have I ever talked to her, but I feel like I am some kind of voyeuristic stranger in her life. Over the last five years I have received detailed reports from her dentist, appointment reminders from her doctor, car accident details from her insurance company, job offers and interviews from employers, and loan details from her banker.

TMI, seriously.

Why don't people listen to voicemail messages? I have my name clearly spoken on there. At first when I received messages for Emily, I felt bad and would call the number back to tell them they dialed wrong. But after a couple of failed communication attempts, I have just given up. Emily really just needs to start writing her phone number more clearly on her paperwork.

Time to Come Clean

Ok, I think it's finally time to come out of the closet. I've been harboring this secret for way too long. Are you ready? I am in love with Martha Stewart. I know!! I didn't think it would ever come to this.

Sure, I thought her cookie book was divine, but that was harmless right? Then I received her cupcake book for my birthday. Oh wow. She loves to make wonderful recipes, which I love to bake and eat.

Ok, so the woman can cook, but otherwise she goes way overboard on the cleaning, decorating, living your life to fullest on no more than 100,000 a year. Yeah, not exactly my budget.

I think I realized I was becoming hooked when I began buying her magazine a few months ago. Recipes, pretty pictures, flowers, oh my, I sound just like my mother over her Victoria magazine. ( ;)love you, Mom!)

Then I found I could put her website on my home page- I told myself it was so I could drool over her cookie of the day, but then I was spending more and more time over there, looking forward to her newest cleaning tips, holiday ideas, and how to make grocery bags out of old pillow cases.

And now, I am completely obsessed with finding her article on using simple household items to clean with- vingar, baking soda, etc. I can't find it, and I am pining away without it- how else can I possibly clean green without Martha to tell me?????

I think the Valentine's cards that were Martha inspired and took me a whole Saturday to put together was what made me realize I am going over the edge and possibly need intervention. But it's so fun!!! (And fyi- all I spent was money on postage and developing pics)