Just Another Manic Monday

Ok, really, I don't think I should be allowed out in public on Mondays. Or at least not without my own personal escort. I seem to be a walking disaster most days, but more so on Monday. And the Monday after spring break... well.. wow. I got an extra last minute job today which I was thrilled about. The only problem was it was forty minutes away, started in an hour, and I accidentally left the seat warmer on in the car- hence- dead battery.

My life today felt like that book (children's books freqently come to my head at times like this) Fortunately. Fortunately, I got an extra job. Unfortunately, I killed my battery. Fortunately there just happened to be a qwest truck at the remote park I was visiting and fortunately I have jumper cables.

Unfortunately, I cannot tell my left from from my right and took the wrong exit. Unfortunately that required a major turn around in the middle of the Willamette River - yes, you heard it right. Just imagine a large spaghetti bowl type freeway system all hovering over a very wide river. Yikes.

Fortunately I thought I knew where I was going. Fortunately, I thought right. Unfortunately there was no parking to be had at the college. Zilch. Nada. Not even for ready money. Unfortunately, I was ten minutes late at this point.

Fortunately, I found what I really hoped was a free permit-free, non towing spot on the curb. Fortunately I happen to rock at parallel parking. I think I parked that car on sheer will and desperation, because damn it was a tight spot.

Unfortunately I had to lug twenty pounds of computer equipment over a block, uphill. Everything turned out all right in the end and class even let out early- Hooray!! (I still get paid the full two hours.) But wow, I am totally frazzled.

Here is how I would like my evening to go: Perhaps, fortunately James will not have any potty accidents. Perhaps he will not lose my phone and my keys while I blog instead of watch him. Perhaps he will even heat up his own dinner and put himself to bed in a few hours.

Perhaps I should go make dinner.

James and His New Friend

James made a new friend yesterday. Unfortunately, his new friend wound up in the garbage twenty minutes later. That is because James' friend was a hard-boiled egg. I gave it to him in hopes he would eat it. James insists on peeling his own eggs- no easy feat for a two year old, and as a result usually winds up yanking the top off, leaving the bottom shell on, and trying to eat it out of its shell. (yeah, well, you try peeling it for him- it is not worth the fight, I promise you).

About five minutes into this process, he found his empty egg carton, and Ta Da! an idea was born. I turned around to watch James playing peek-a-boo with his half peeled egg in the carton. Then he started up a lively conversation with it, only half of which I understood. But I am sure Humpty-Dumpty understood it.

Then the egg became his baby. Then they played house together with a christmas tin, and drove in James' laundry basket. I don't actually let James run rampant around the house with food like this- well, ok, maybe I do- but I was distracted at first and then completely amused with his imagination.

Finally, I think they had a falling out because I walked out of the kitchen just in time to see James smash his egg flat on the table. Egg went into the garbage at that point, much to James' dismay. And thus ended a beautiful friendship, at least until I forget about this incident and give James another egg...

Three Words I Hate

Have you heard about Obama's Special Olympics gaffe on the Tonight Show? Where he referred to his bowling skills as worthy of special olympics? Wow, surely not his finest moment. I read this article on CNN entitled Special Olympics takes on use of 'R' word, and I think they make an excellent point.

It reminded me of the two words that are commonly misused as slurs but that we all use anyway- myself included. And I really hate when I use them, but just can't seem to help myself. Here is a sampling "how gay is that?" and "wow, I am a retard" I really really don't think that the word 'gay' should be used to refer to something as stupid or dumb, but again, I can't seem to help myself. If I catch it before I say it, I hold back, but I am not very good at checking what I say. If I was, James probably wouldn't be running around now yelling "oh dammit!"

Isn't it funny how words such as gay and retarded started out as something completely innocuous, then took to meaning something else completely, and now are commonly used as slang? I find language simply fascinating.

Of course, I also hate the phrase "quit being so girly" or "you are acting like a girl" which is perhaps why I find myself saying in contemptible tones "typical male." Do we ever think about what we say and how offensive it can sometimes sound? Without intending to, everytime we use the word gay, retarded, or girly, contemptibly, we are in a small way tearing down a faction of society.

Now, I do find that as a society we are also very quick to take offense where none is intended- I certainly don't get after people every time I hear them making derogatory comments such as those. But at the same time, I think we should consider what we mean when we commonly drop "girly" as an insult. (okay, yes, that is the one i hate the most, and I NEVER use it.)

Dance Party Saturday

Jay attempted to teach me to swing dance this weekend. Lessons are going...ok. I have no rhythm in my feet. Don't ask me why. I can play piano like nobody's business. I can keep time with music, but ask me to stomp my feet in a rhythm or clap my hands and I am always off a beat. Oh, and for years and years, I hated dancing. Probably because I felt stupid because I knew I looked terribly awkward.

At any rate, when I am in the privacy of my own home with my other half it is not so bad. Which isn't to say I still felt totally at ease, but...

Swing dancing is fun!! Jay has bravely decided to continue to let me stomp on his toes, and maybe someday I will actually turn it into coordinated dancing. I just think it is too cool that my husband knows and enjoys dancing.

Also if you have read some past posts about trying to teach me anything, you know how hard it can be...

On Saturday he taught me the basic four step, the barrel turn and the sweetheart's pose. And I still remember what they are called! Yea!! Of course while this was all going on, James was insinuating himself between us and saying "Dance? Dance?" He couldn't believe we weren't including him. So naturally I had to have a dance with him, which is composed mainly of him getting twirled through the air.

We had a lot of fun, dancing to Louie Prima. Maybe sometime when I am actually half decent at it, I will video tape us.

Louis Prima "Oh Marie"

I think I will have to take a lesson from my sister on posting videos here, because I couldn't figure it out.

The Ugly Duchess

Ok, I am having waaay too much fun transcribing for an art history class. It is just so fascinating!! So I have decided to include a little art history moment in my blog to edumacate the masses (or the two or three people who read this). Today is…..

The Ugly Duchess

Try to imagine the effect this has in a darkened room, on an enlarged projector screen. Wow. I was horrified, and yet fascinated at the same time. I didn’t want to continue staring, but I couldn’t stop.

No one is sure who this is, but rumor has it, she was the inspiration for the duchess drawings in Alice In Wonderland.



Researchers have now determined she was suffering from a very rare form of Paget’s disease, a disease which gradually enlarges and shrinks bones, deforming them. Usually it affects people’s hips and lower body, but this woman is unusual in that it affected her face instead.

This picture is mostly thought to be a commentary on the efforts of older people to look young and youthful, taken to the ridiculous. Notice the low cut dress, displaying a rather wrinkly bosom. She is holding a rosebud, which is a symbol of youthfulness.

In the end, I find myself extremely curious about who she is. Did she go out in public? How did she feel about the hand fate had dealt her with this disease? Quite probably this didn’t develop until she was older. If I were going solely off of the artist’s interpretation, I would say she was quite intelligent and made the most of her life. I could almost imagine her making jokes about this painting.

In the end, I love this painting, but… I wouldn’t necessarily hang it in my house.