I went to the store today. I went because I was out of dish soap. I came home with dish soap, popcorn, a can of frosting, powdered sugar to make more frosting, dutch chocolate snack pies, and a mocha frappuccino. Ahhhh, chocolate. I don't even want to know the calorie count on any of these... I have had a serious case of 'the munchies' as I call them for the past week. Carbs, chocolate, and sugary sweets seem to be calling to me even when I sleep. I was beginning to wonder if I have developed an addiction to chocolate, when I realized the root cause of my bingeing- stress. Ok, I am always stressed out. It's kind of second nature to me to worry about anything and everything even when I can't change it. It's when stress goes up a notch that I start to have problems. I also get insanely itchy when I am stressed and worried. Itchy to the point of hives. I had to take benadryl last night to get to sleep. So what the heck am I losing sleep over and probably on the point of gaining ten pounds for? I think it's Thanksgiving. Jay's parents are picking us up tomorrow evening and we are spending the holidays at Jay's sister's house. It's not that I don't like my in-laws. In fact, I really like all of Jay's family. If it was just me and Jay, I think I would be fine. The stress is the complication of throwing a toddler into the mix. I love seeing family, but I hate having a toddler over at a house where none of the stuff is mine. Because then I spend most of my time ensuring nothing priceless is broken. Oh, yes, I also have to make sure my child doesn't go vampire on any of his cousins and bite a chunk out of their respective skins. And then of course there is the issue of manners. I don't expect much in the way of manners from a two-year-old, but it is embarrassing nonetheless when he throws his entire plateful of food on the floor, or tries to hit me in the face. (No, I don't condone either behavior at home.) I don't expect perfection, but it would be nice if James made me look like a good mommy.
Jay has admitted he doesn't like going places with me and James. He likes going places with me, or James, but not us both together because I am bossy and harried, and James is impossible. He is right. But it seems everytime I relax, James does something outrageous, so I have to bounce back in 'Gestapo Mommy' mode. *Sigh* I just want this weekend to be over already.
My strategy for Thursday and Friday is to find a quiet place every so often and do my typing training. I can't afford to lose many days on that and when I make myself scarce James' behavior improves dramatically. Oh yes, and quietly repeat to myself every so often 'I'm a good mother, I'm a good mother, I'm a good mother..." (Did I mention I can be neurotically insecure at times?)
6 comments:
HMMMM THAT SOUNDS TO FAMILIAR . you know your a good mom jay knows your a good mom and james knows you are a good mom . YOUR A GOOD MOM . try having two toddlers attacking you . emilee told me yesterday to just sit on the sofa and stop . what do you say to that i say that to her sometimes . oh the joy of toddlers . YOUR A GOOD MOM . Hey tell jay that elder peiffer says hi and that he is having a baby in january
I believe that you are being too hard on yourself. After all the folks you are going to are family and James is their baby grandson so am sure their expectations from the two-year old and his mother are also within those parameters.
I am sure that everyone will be drooling over your beautiful little boy to care too much if he dings a thing or two. Don't forget everyone has been there and there is only this much etiquette one can expect from a two year old. So just relax and enjoy the family who am sure would have already child-proofed the house to some extent or should knowing so many kids are coming over... Stressing over the probability of an accident will only help in making it a self-fulfilling prophecy!
Inger-lis,
I have tagged you for a Meme. Please come by to my blog and check the post with the rules. I really hope that you will play along.
Thanks
thanks for the support from both of you;) I think I am just still scarred from Halloween, which was beyond horrendous in terms of James' behavior. True, he was teething at the time, so I suppose I can forgive him his awful temper that day, but I still haven't forgotten the look on my grandmother's face when he threw his cup right at her, nor the fact that I ate dinner in the car because he wouldn't stop screaming in the restaurant.
He's done teething for the time being. It'll be fun!!
and Raksha, you are right, there will be lots of people to drool over him and tell him how cute he is. That is always a nice thing to hear;)
Your trip to the store sounds like almost every trip I make to the store! Thus, I try to avoid shopping if at all possible. :)
It is a constant source of frustration for me that Clara is so much more of an emotional mess with me than with anybody else. I think it's pretty normal for kids to be that way with the "primary caregiver" but it's still JUST SO FRUSTRATING! It will be interesting to see if it changes if I end up getting a job after we move and Tim stays home.
Sheryl is a lot like that, she has no kid to worry about but she literally worries herself sick about everything! I guess we balance each other out because I worry about almost nothing. I worry about what I can control and dont care about what I cant. Unfortunately my expertise is in animal care and not child care but I could recommend some good shock collars or a leash. Cat muzzles might work for the biting as well.
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